Part 2: What Does the Bible Say About Divorce?
As I deliberated with myself over the possibility of divorce, I had deep hang-ups over what the Bible says about divorce.
A part of me considered just dismissing the Bible completely because I felt so hurt by so much of Christian culture. Like, “F*** that. I see more ‘fruits of the Spirit’ in some non-Christians than I see in some ‘Super Christians,’ so...what do I actually care about what the ‘Super Christians’ say is right and wrong.”
But, for better or worse, there was a part of me that still felt hung up on the Bible’s words about divorce.
For me, after a certain point, I sensed my guidance system was possibly pointing me toward something that didn’t agree with what I had been taught the Bible said.
I had learned that God would never say anything to me that contradicts what the Bible says—that was one way of being able to discern God’s voice. So that was making me deeply question if my guidance system was off. Was I hearing my voice, not God’s voice?
I have a decent amount of confidence that I’ve learned to know God’s voice over the years, but I don’t know...I could be wrong! If I’m the only one that thinks God says there’s room to get a divorce and every other person of faith I know and that has ever lived (ok, maybe an exaggeration, but that’s nearly how I felt) says God’s hates that...it’s really going to make me question myself.
There can be wisdom in the group.
But sometimes the group is wrong. (Everybody vs. Noah and oh, slavery! easily come to mind.)
So I wanted to do some more in-depth investigation for myself on what the Bible really says about divorce.
I want to share some of my findings and some perspectives for you that may be true.
The more I’ve known the Bible, the less confident I am that any of us can interpret it with a whole lot of certainty. There seems to be plenty of room for interpretation between translations, the cultural context of the time and place in which it was written, is it law or poetry, our contemporary cultural lenses, etc., etc…
This section is not meant to be an exhaustive exegesis, but a deeper dive on a few of the most referred to passages about divorce, and a few passages that get a lot less air time.
We’ll start with a brief overview of the “conservative” argument against divorce and then get into some more “progressive” or “liberal” perspectives.
My hope is just to expand and open up the conversation, share perspectives you may not have heard yet, and leave it to your own internal guidance to decide what resonates with you. I’d encourage you to dig deeper into anything you feel curious about.
Fair warning:
Remember, this conversation may muddy your waters even more for a little while. It may even bring up some really difficult feelings and questions.
I encourage you to go slowly and gently through this. I believe it’s worthwhile to really look closely at our beliefs because it will eventually bring you more peace and clarity than not looking. But for some of you, it may feel worse before it feels better. Pause anytime you need to and come back when you're feeling calmer.
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